I am back to work today after a conference that went from Thursday evening through Sunday afternoon. It was intense. AND awesome. This conference was all about increasing your skills as a professional speaker. As a coach, I work one on one with people, I work in group settings, and I speak to groups. As with anything in life, you must work on things get better, so I attended this conference to improve my public speaking.
This morning I was reflecting on my state as a woman and a mom, just a few years ago. If I was going to attend something multiple days in a row and be away from my family, I would feel intense guilt about it. I would have still gone, but I would totally have this inner turmoil about it.
There were a lot of reasons I had that guilt. I didn’t know my stance as a mom. I was unhappy at work. I was struggling with balancing my work schedule with my home life. I had lost part of myself. I worried that taking time away from my son, to work on myself was selfish somehow.
I am not that woman today. I am not that mom today. I have gotten really clear with myself about what quality time is for my relationship with my son. I am not perfect with this, but I do my best to honor it.
My son said to my husband several times this weekend: “Where’s Mom?” and “I miss Mama”. Several years ago that would bring me a gut-wrenching feeling. Today, I can reply from a place of knowing and strength, and say “I missed you too” and “I’m glad to be back home with you” and “here’s what I learned while I was away”. And that is truly the example I want to be to my son. The mom who takes care of him and takes care of herself.
Have you ever held yourself back from something you really wanted to do for yourself, but you didn’t, because you were feeling mom guilt? What would happen for your life if you could define what is quality time with your kid(s)? Can you spend 5 or 10 minutes getting in touch with yourself and see what answers you come up with? I hope so.